Last time I went, they offered to do my eyebrows and rightly so. Eyebrows are another thing I don’t take adequate care of. My eyebrows tend to resemble the forest floor. You know, that area off the beaten path. You would never wander there for fear that some furry, never-before-seen critter will swallow your foot. Granted, no one is going to step on my eyebrows (I hope). Nevertheless, my brows are pretty scary.
Back to the story. They offered to do my eyebrows. I declined. They kept asking if I was sure. My heart sank a little as they reaffirmed what I already knew about the rugged terrain on my face. I declined over and over, as I was already splurging on the nails.
Fast-forward to this past Monday. Lenny and I slept in, had sushi for lunch, and decided to walk around the mall versus heading home to pass out in a food coma. And behold, what do we find in the middle of the mall? An eyebrow threading stand! That’s right, for just a few bucks, you can get your eyebrows threaded in the middle of the mall. Never heard of eyebrow threading? Check it out here. Of course, most sane people would glance briefly at this and keep moving. However, the sodium-laden soy sauce from lunch must have given me an extra dose of looney-tune-like courage.
Lenny looked at me. He’s so kind about my lack of grooming. Yet he looked excited. How cool was this stand? Wouldn’t I like a break from the wildlife on my face? Feeling ever so bold, I agreed. In the middle of the mall, I sat in a chair and smiled as a lady I’ve never met came at my face with some harmless looking thread. She said that it would be similar to plucking, however, the thread would remove more hair at once and with less pain.
I have a high tolerance for pain. So, I wasn’t worried when she mentioned that it might hurt a bit since this was my first threading experience. Then she began. PAIN. Searing, repeated pain. It was like my eyebrows had grown teeth and decided to attack me for what I was doing. There were people gathering to watch before she started, so I was determined to avoid the fetal position and crying like a baby.
Happy place! I had to go to my happy place! It hit me immediately…I have no happy place. I’ve never really needed a happy place. What is my happy place? I thought of my Granny. She always makes me smile. She's so calming and wonderful to be around . But as I pictured her, she was laughing at me. Despite the pain I was trying to forget, I wanted to laugh with her. So, all at once, I was suppressing tears, laughter, and utter disgust with myself for submitting to such torture.
I swear it took her ten minutes to do one eyebrow. I’m sure it was really three minutes, but it felt like ten. She handed me a mirror. I opened my eyes and the tears escaped. No, I wasn’t crying, but the pain had produced waterfalls behind my eyelids that I couldn’t prevent. My one eyebrow looked lovely. The other was growling at me. Nevertheless, I closed my eyes and laughed with Granny for three more minutes.
What’s the point of this story? I’m not sure. Might I try it again? Who knows. Maybe it won't hurt so much the second time. I just know that when my furry facial friends return, I will likely embrace them for a little while and I will never again eat sushi prior to a mall walk.